What I Learned From Selling My Underwear on the Internet

I'm 43 years old. I build decks for a living.

I've spent most of my adult life working with lumber, tools, trucks, homeowners and occasionally people who probably shouldn't be allowed to own a tape measure.

Never once did I think I'd add "selling my used underwear on the internet" to the list.

But apparently that's where we're at.

This whole thing started because I made a Facebook page.

Nothing complicated. I posted some pictures, talked some shit, made a few jokes and started talking to people in the comments. Somehow people started following me.

A lot more people than I expected.

Then somebody asked if I'd sell him a pair of my underwear.

I thought he was fucking with me.

Turns out he wasn't.

I don't remember exactly what went through my head, but it was probably something along the lines of, "You wanna pay me HOW MUCH for underwear I've already worn?"

I've done harder jobs for less money.

So I sold them.

Then somebody else wanted a pair.

Then somebody asked about my socks.

That's about the time I realized the internet is a much stranger place than I gave it credit for.

The Underwear Ain't Really What They're Buying

This is the part that surprised me.

You can walk into Walmart and buy brand-new underwear for a hell of a lot less than what somebody paid me for mine.

They're cleaner.

They come in a package.

They haven't spent eight hours underneath a pair of work jeans.

Objectively, they're a much better deal.

But nobody buying mine gives a shit about that.

They're buying them because they're mine.

That was weird for me to understand at first.

These are people who've been following me. They've seen my pictures. They've laughed at something stupid I said. We've probably gone back and forth in the comments.

Somehow an ordinary thing becomes different when there's a person and a story attached to it.

I guess people have always done that.

Somebody will pay $20 for a baseball. Put a famous player's name on it and suddenly it's worth hundreds.

I'm definitely not a famous baseball player.

I'm just a contractor from Tennessee mailing his drawers to strangers.

But apparently the same basic idea applies.

People Like Real More Than Perfect

Something else I've learned from all this is that people seem to be pretty damn tired of perfect.

Perfect pictures.

Perfect houses.

Perfect bodies.

Perfect vacations.

Perfect lives.

Everything online looks like somebody spent three hours getting ready to pretend they weren't trying.

I don't have much interest in doing that.

I'm not a model. I'm not an influencer. Half the time I don't even know what the hell I'm doing with social media.

I work.

I fish.

I screw around.

I say things I probably shouldn't.

Sometimes I look good in a picture and sometimes I look like a guy who's been working outside all damn day.

That's life.

And weirdly enough, I think that's part of why people have stuck around.

They don't expect me to be perfect.

Good thing, because they'd be disappointed as hell.

The Internet Will Humble You

There's also something humbling about realizing strangers know things about you.

You'll mention something once and three days later somebody remembers it.

People notice what shirt you're wearing.

They notice your truck.

They notice your hands.

And apparently some of them notice your underwear.

Especially your underwear.

I'm still getting used to that one.

But I've also met some genuinely funny and decent people through this whole ridiculous experiment.

People I never would've crossed paths with otherwise.

That's probably the part I didn't expect.

I figured social media was mostly people yelling at each other about politics and showing everybody what they ate for dinner.

Turns out sometimes it's just a bunch of strangers laughing together.

I can get behind that.

Never Say "I'd Never Do That"

This might be the biggest thing I've learned.

I've spent plenty of my life saying:

"I'd never do that."

Then life comes along and says, "You sure about that?"

Apparently I'm not.

Would I have told somebody a year ago that I'd have people following me online?

Nope.

Would I have told them I'd make a website?

Hell no.

Would I have told them I'd sit down and write something like this?

Definitely not.

And I sure as hell wouldn't have predicted I'd be standing at the post office trying to figure out how to ship my underwear to somebody.

Yet every one of those things happened.

Maybe getting older is partly realizing you don't have yourself figured out quite as well as you thought you did.

Sometimes something weird comes along.

You can worry about whether it's something you're "supposed" to do.

Or you can laugh and see where the hell it goes.

So that's what I'm doing.

I still build things.

I still fish.

I still drive my truck.

And every once in a while, apparently, I sell my underwear.

Life's weird.

Might as well have a sense of humor about it.

— Joe

Want to know more about me?

I'm a contractor, a dad, a fisherman and apparently a guy who writes shit on the internet now.

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